My Shell
Hey friends. Im only confident enough to ask this, because I know for a fact that only my closest friends (all BBC) are reading this: Well today at dance I got extremely frustrated, as some of you know I've been put into a ballet/modren piece that intails me being lifted. Now most of you also have seen my progress with my self confidence level. The problem, if you havent put the 2 together yet, is that I feel as though Im going back into my shell, and it started when we started doing this dance. I find myself looking in the mirror more and pointing out my fault. Its so frustrating to have gotten so far, just to fall back because of a dance. Today I finally got up the courage to ask the choreographer if we could talk about it after practise. I only go the courage, because she asked me not to do the dance with the group because I could injure my partner (I wasn't going full out, which is more dangerous). She said that would be ok. So after the practise we sat down and started talking, I told her about my insecurities which was scary, and how I felt about the dance. I told her it wasnt her that I was frustrated at, ect. Then she told me about her life when she was my age, we teared up a couple of times, and I realized I have someone on my side. That was nice for a change. I've never felt that way before. She still doesnt want me to quit this dance, but she told me to take some time out to pray and then let her know what I come up with. My problem again, is that I havent figured out how to listen. Some of us have talked about this on our walks, so here's what Im going to do. I'm gonna pray, but I'll also going to ask you to pray. Then let me know what you think, I'll try to listen harder, and hopefully with Gods grace, some good will come out of this. Thank you all for being so helpful, and always being there!